The Mini-Map LIES

September 7, 2009

Lies

As you know, I’ve been frustrated many a time by trying to find clusters of bots cleverly hidden under the ground, and yet invisible. Or so the mini-map would have you believe. But a little bird told me that no, the little “above you / below you” dots are not accurate for things at very high altitudes… 4082 meters, for example.

So I picked an obvious cluster of green dots, transported there, and confirmed that I couldn’t see anything underground. Then I turned on my avi sensor, and flew up, and up, and up until I hit an invisible wall. It was easy enough to get around, it didn’t cover the whole region (so why did they bother?). A little further up, there it was… a box full of amorphous cloud bots.

So now you know. Happy hunting!

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Caledonie%20Island/161/15/4096


Where no alien phallus has gone before

October 15, 2008

I finally got a chance to visit the (in)famous Doomed Ship and I was very impressed. Environmentally, it rivals the visual sophistication of many 3D shooters. All of this was done with the same tools that you and I have access to — prims, scripts, and textures. The only missing ingredient is talent, which these folks have in spades.

Now, the Doomed Ship is intended for a kind of Sci-Fi sexual roleplay, though you’d be hard pressed to find a sex bed or room full of poseballs. Visitors can thoroughly enjoy their explorations without doing anything unseemly (for the most part).

Because this is a roleplay area it’s expected that you’ll do your best to blend in. There are inexpensive environment suits for sale at the entrance as well as freebie avatars if you don’t have anything sufficiently dark and futuristic in your inventory. The clothes from the freebie avatars work fine if you don’t want to change your entine look. As for myself, I donned my uniform from The Black Knight space station.

Read the rules and stay in character as best you can so as not to ruin someone elses fun with your blundering about.

The ship encourages exploration. The route you travel is usually pretty linear, though sometimes the way forward is not always obvious. The ship is bigger than you think, and each deck has a different look and lighting effect.

Be warned that if you are very curious about clicking things, you will encounter some of the sexual animations, which almost entirely involve being violated by an alien monster. Some of these come straight from Sensual Stoneworks, so you know what to expect, but it doesn’t make them any less fun. The narration of these encounters assumes that you’re a female. If you’re a guy, that moves them from Slightly Disturbing to Pretty Damned Disturbing. “Ha! I don’t have one of those orifices! Gotcha! Oh… Oh shi–!”

Lot of rooms seem to serve no other purpose than to look cool, though from a roleplay point of view you can find something to do with them. “Captain, if we keep this speed we’ll blow up any minute now!”

If I had a “violated by spider” fantasy, it’s been completely satisfied now. Really.

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Desperation%20Andromeda/70/10/1002


Freakishly wonderful

October 9, 2008

There are few things that make me happier in Second Life than discovering a Japanese area I haven’t been to before. Lately, though, what I’ve found was surprisingly bland… at least until I landed on JPL Kanagawa it’s surrounding reason. Here is all the exuberant wackiness we’ve come to know and love.

I could do loads of blog posts on the individual attractions I found. Instead, though, I invite you to head on over and explore for yourself and see what I mean. Wear a translator so you can understand what the objects are saying to you. Slow down, let things rez and poke around.

I’ll treat you to some highlights to get you started. Take this nattily attired fellow. He’s in front of a building filled with some sort of mechanical contraption. What’s it for? What’s he for? What does it do? I have no clue! Who cares? It’s cool!

Next door is this building guarded by two giant guitar wielding women. There are poseballs in front of them that make you do… something… but I couldn’t find the HUD that is required. I imagine it is some kind of guitar duel, but I could be wrong. If you figure it out, let me know.

Keep your eyes open — a lot of these statues (and the region is full of them) have subtle animations, like eye blinks.

I *think* this is a model of a giant robot dragon with a house on it’s back, but I could be wrong. Maybe it’s a robot dragon with a bad case of robot back acne.

On of the region is devoted to Mount Fuji (I think). At the top you’ll find a giant snowball that you can ride to the bottom.

I have no explanation for this. It’s on top of a tiny store. Well, the store isn’t tiny, they sell… o, you now what I mean. Why is it that many of the tiny stores I see have a GINORMOUS model of one of their tines out front? Maybe they’re overcompensating?Or maybe they’re the tinies with thyroid conditions.

This crappy giant guy on top of a mall is really giant and crappy. He got my attention, though, which was probably the idea.

Builds like this make up for a whole lot of crappy giant guys, though.

Damned right, I bought one of these. They have an elephant version too, but the trunk is, uh, flaccid.

Keep your eyes open and you too will find fun and cheap stuff, like this tiny panda avatar.

http://slurl.com/secondlife/JPL%20KANAGAWA/161/128/2


The fog rolls in

October 5, 2008

What a strange fog. It almost seems… alive.

Okay, it is alive, if you can call bots alive. This bot farmer clustered his minions so close together that they appear to be one amorphous cloud.

You know… I kind of miss Ruth. She was much easier to mock than clouds.

Oh Ruth, you’re not attractive
If I may be so bold
See, your system hair
And nipple-less skin
They leave me rather cold
But now with clouds around me
I pine for the days of old
Because though you’re not a looker
You’re sure comedy gold

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Charmed%20One/32/32/745


Wherein the Big Evil Corporation gets it right

September 30, 2008

Let’s start with a disclaimer. I’m a Comcast customer. And while I haven’t had any problems with them personally (in fact, they’ve been decidedly not bad), I’ve heard enough stories (think “sleeping Comcast tech”) to regard them as one of those typical Big Evil Corporations. The noises they’re making about charging heavy users of their high-speed Internet service for bandwidth in order to dissuade them from streaming movies instead of watching them on cable don’t give me the warm fuzzies.

That said, they were smart enough to contract Millions Of Us to create their Second Life island. The island ties in remarkably well with their current “Faster” marketing campaign for high-speed Internet service (yeah, the same one they are thinking of charging for bandwidth on). Rather than bore you with information that you could get on their web site, the island is chock full of activities that drive home the point. Faster, faster, faster. It’s remarkable.

First up, the laboratory, where a mad scientist has created a formula to make a liquid named Faster. I won’t go into too many details because it will ruin the surprises. Suffice it to say they they play on your instincts to try everything you’re not supposed to. So, of course, you’re going to cross the red line, stand where you shouldn’t, and disturb the sleeping lab tech. (Okay, I gave one away with he opening picture). You can also step into the PneuMADitron and travel around the world in 80 seconds. Figuring out how they pull these tricks on you doesn’t make them any less clever.

Much of the island is taken up by the race track. Outside you can grab a free (and not bad) racing suit. Here’s me and my posse modeling the different colors. Okay, that’s not my posse, those are the freebie vendors. But if I had a posse, I’d make them wear matching jumpsuits with my logo on the back. (Note to self: Design logo for posse).

Let me say right here that this is without a doubt the best racing experience I’ve had in Second Life. Encompassing the track in a tube keeps you from going off course, and everything works very smoothly. Up to four people can race at a time. The twists in the course make it longer than you think, and the race is three laps. Plenty of time for a come-from-behind victory.

If racing inside a tube is a little too constricting. you can also pick up a jet-pack and race through rings in the sky. In an interesting twist, the order in which you go through the rings doesn’t seem to matter, and the location of the next ring isn’t always obvious.

Closer to the ground, there’s a jetsk race you ca try, although the controls are so touchy I had a hard time keeping myself going in the right direction. More often than not I’d do a 180 and wonder why everything suddenly looked so familiar.

Above it all there’s an observation deck, so people who aren’t participating in the three race types can watch and cheer you on. Beyond that there’s an exposition center with some unexciting stuff obviously stuck there until they can get some real content going. Likewise, there is is a large arena where you can watch streaming video, if they had any streaming video to play. For now, you’re treated to the ever-so-exciting Quicktime logo.

But those are quibbles. For the most part the island is marvelously entertaining, and succeeds in it’s mission of equating Comcast with Faster in your mind. Could this be the best corporate island yet? If you’re going to a purely marketing island, is they key just to drive home a simple message in new and interactive ways?

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Comcast/17/231/23


You can’t go there

September 14, 2008

It’s really frustrating when you see a set of islands like this out on the edge of the grid and you are denied access. I’ve seen regions with land masses shaped like continents, hands, words, you name it… but never something quite like this. It’s cool and just a little creepy. Or maybe that’s the bloody land mass. Too bad I can’t get into these areas, I’d like to see how they look from ground level.

I suspect this is someone from Linden Lab having some fun, because I was able to land on a plain little island in this group, and look what I found…

A little inside look at the goings on behind the scenes!

I’M 1N UR M33T1NG PL@CE S1TT1NG 1N UR CH@1R!!!!!

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Harmelodia/134/124/33


Dying to get in

September 11, 2008

You know the old joke. Two guys are walking by the cemetary and one of them says, “Everyone is dying to get in there.” Har dee har.

I’m not a big fan of graphic violence. Call me an escapist, but I’m not going to spend my leisure time dwelling on things less pleasant than reality. So when I landed on Le Cimetiere and saw the region description included vampires and BDSM, I was about to head someplace else when I realized that the creepy graveyard I was standing in was filled with swings and slides and spring rides.

Clearly, someone has their tounge planted firmly in cheek.

I decided to look around and my explorations were rewarded at every turn. Everything bears close examination, from the crypts bearing the likenesses of longtime residents to the inscriptions on the gravestones, Here lies and atheist, all dressed up and no place to go.

There’s a plethora of coffins to lie in, poseballs to play on and… oh yes, the BDSM equipment as well. None of it is too garish — just the usual spikes and restraints and chains and… oh, never mind.

Venture down the bloody waterfall and what will you find?

If I didn’t know any better, I’d say it was Hell itself. I hope they’re not using oil for those fires, it could get expensive. Throw another zombie on the fire, it’s getting chilly down here.

Most of the BDSM stuff seems to be inside the big old creepy house with the particle rainbow over it (no, I don’t get it either). However, you’ll still find some entertaining stuff to look at, like these Grim Babies (as opposed to Prim Babies, I suppose). Too bad they’re not for sale.

On the other end of the island is a New Orleans French Quarter shopping area. It’s mostly empty but sufficiently creepy to make a stroll through it worthwhile anyway.

There’s also a dance club. During my picture-taking visit I was lucky enough to find a weird avatar contest going on. I rolled out a couple of my more disturbing selections (found in the Japanese areas, naturally) and joined the fun. I have to say it’s a nice, friendly and funny group of people. I’ll be back.

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Le%20Cimetiere/106/223/56


Not so unattractive

July 29, 2008

My friend Velveeta (that’s her in her camo “bot hunting” dress) asked to go bot hunting with me, so I took her along last night and showed her how it’s done. You’ll understand if I don’t explain how I break into these bot hives here. No sense letting the bot herders get a leg up on creating new and better countermeasures.

Bot hunting with a friend is surprisingly fun. Vel had to take a moment to lecture this group that they could break free and have better lives outside the box. She also wondered that they never got out to go to the bathroom. I suggested that based on the crouching, some of them didn’t see that as an obstacle.

Incidentally, the new set of default avatars has led to the interesting phenomenon of bots that don’t look so bad. You might call this particular group almost fashionable. You can tell right away that this bot batch has some fresh ingredients.

This other group we found, on the other hand, thinks that grey is the new black. This was a strange one. They were up on a platform in plain sight, but when you approached they were behind a set of invisible walls. That wasn’t too difficult to get past, but one wonders why they would do that. Maybe to prevent people like us from pushing the bots off the edge of the platform? Oh, if only we could have…

http://slurl.com/secondlife/The%20Sun/136/139/393

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Million%20Island/23/232/701


Digital inbreeding

July 25, 2008

This bucolic little bot reservation seemed pretty standard when I filed made my way in. It’s a skybox with a lot of bots sitting on camping chairs. (Note to bot herders: Don’t think you’ve fooled me into thinking your bot farm is a camping area when you’ve sealed the bots in a box and you can’t TP inside).

Then Jessa looked over my shoulder, pointed at one of the bots in the front row and said, “Hey, is that a baby?”

Oh. My. God. They’re breeding now.

Alas, it seems that on their first experimental hookup they let siblings mate. How else do you explain a face like that? Accident with an automated rice picker?

And just in case you thought I was being unfair by not showing the little guys good side… there is no good side. Only the bad side and the worse side.

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Dania/167/100/764


Liquored Up

July 18, 2008

Lately I’ve been focusing my explorations on places where people are, as opposed to those beautiful but empty places I usually find. Naturally, I end up running into gatherings of bots, and I can’t resist breaking into their little boxes and taking pictures. People seem to enjoy it, so let’s see how it works as a regular feature, shall we?

Well, whoever set up this gathering was humane, at least. Instead of being stuck in a box they get to sit on dance pads in the fresh air. Not only that, but they make Lindens by camping. That’s one of the schemes bot farmers use to disguise their bots. They don’t lose anything by paying their bots camping money, since the money goes back to them, anyway. I can tell they aren’t real campers because of a) their extreme Ruthiness and b) the fact that the camping pads are stuck in the sky with no platform or teleport to them on the ground.

By the way, when I checked up on this spot the pads were empty, so if you’e looking to earn an easy L$2 every 10 minutes, there you have it. I left myself camping there overnight just to mess with the owner.

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Tru%20Colors%20Island/46/62/310

Here’s quite a large gathering. Most of them are pretty standard looking, but one couple snuck in a goblet of wine. Maybe everyone is passing the goblet around. And what’s with the crouching? It looks like they’re trying to set the record for most simultaneous farts. From the looks of things, I’d say they succeeded.

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Live/44/132/344

And lastly, here’s a lovely set of Ruths (okay, lovely isn’t the right word), a couple of whom just had to be different and get the prim hair. Sometimes a bot just wants to feel… pretty.

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Pearls/39/102/761


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